God, Make Me Brave (Part 1)

I like to hide things.

I like to hide my insecurities, my fears, my doubts... basically the stuff we all want to hide. Except I don't think I hide it as well as I think I do. Don't get me wrong, I have moments of transparency when I share a great deal. But I'm not sure those moments count.

What I tend to do is share about my past, the things I've already been able to overcome. Perhaps I do this in attempt to hide what it is I'm going through in the here and now. 

In fact I find it easier for me to share about some of the hardest things I've been through than it is to share about what I'm going through. The stuff I don't have figured out yet. The stuff I'm still content to hide, especially when I can't control the outcome. 

The truth is, I don't want to hide anymore.

I've been on this journey of late, where I've been trying to pursue a more authentic life as well as authentic relationships. And it's been hard, really hard. It's meant admitting things about and to myself that I've done pretty well at avoiding up until now.

But what I'm beginning to learn is that the more honest I am, the more honest other people are, the more God allows us to learn from each other, and the more we grow as a result.

So I woke up this morning and I asked God to make me brave today. Brave enough to share where I'm at, in spite of being terrified of other people getting to have an opinion. Heck, brave enough to admit that I still care about other people's opinions.

Because I do, but I'm working on it :)

Part of this is ingraining in myself that not everyone's brave looks the same. Brave looks different on me than it does on you and that's okay.

God made us all beautiful and unique. We all have different goals, fears, things that bring us joy, things that steal it. That's why we need each other.

So that's what this is going to be, a place where you get to see me grow. A place where you see me be honest and authentic and absolutely a place where you can do and be the same.

Starting today.

So here's where I'm at. It's a Monday in April, the sky is blue, the sun is shining, and it's the kind of day where the world feels possible. You know the one I'm talking about. The kind where you wake up and immediately feel like you could conquer any task set before you. (Disclaimer: This kind of day is rare for me.)

I suppose it's a good day to feel this way because I am beginning my journey with a career coach this week. For me, this step is about dispelling with the notion I have my life completely under control. It's also about admitting my shortcomings and acknowledging when and where I need help.

And admitting this, is my first attempt at being brave and authentic with the people around me.

May you all enjoy today. May you find someone to be kind to. May you find new ways to be brave.


Xo,

Lauren

P.S. Check back next week for Part 2.