I stand by the convictions I held throughout this past election season and don’t regret the decisions I made. I did my best to do so without posting anything polarizing on social media or saying anything that would offend those I care about that believe differently than I do.
I was raised to treat others as I would like to be treated and while I failed miserably as a child and teenager, I'm pretty confident I’ve done better as an adult. I don’t want to be told what to believe and so I won’t tell others what to believe. It seems simple to me.
The point is that I felt I’d made it out of this season relatively unscathed. Until this weekend. I won’t get into specifics, but some things happened and conversations took place and at the end of it all I felt the most disheartened I’d felt in a very long time.
For the most part, I see my Facebook page as being a safe place for people. I want my family and friends to know they can “visit” my page and not get attacked or experience a rude encounter or see something that is overly offensive. (Disclaimer: I love Jesus and post things about Him often, so if you find Him offensive, 1, this is your head’s up and 2, we should probably talk because I’m not sure we know the same Jesus.)
There is a time I would have retaliated to someone's unkind or accusatory posts in rash words, without thinking, without praying, just eager to get my point across and have my voice heard. It has been a weakness of mine. But something I learned over the weekend is that even when we don’t notice it, God is working to change our hearts.
And so I didn’t react. I waited and I prayed. And in my weakness, I found His strength.
This is my response to the world around me right now. My prayer is that you look past the words you might disagree with, and listen to hear my heart behind them…
I don't say those words lightly. Because sometimes it isn't easy. Sometimes I hear your words and I want to scream. I want to yell at you for making assumptions about me, for trying to tell the world I'm someone that I'm not. I want to chastise you for appearing hypocritical in your approach with those who disagree with you... and I want you to stop talking and start listening. And not just listen to retaliate, but listen to understand.
But I know if I reacted that way and said some of those words, I'd be guilty of the same thing and all that would do is leave us in this never ending cycle of hate. And that's not what I'm about, and I want you to know that's not what I'm about.
So, what do I say?
I say we do better to love each other well today. Yesterday is gone. What we did, what we said, we can't take back. But today is new and tomorrow newer and we can do better now. We can stop letting the hateful actions and words of others determine our own. We can decide right here, right now, to listen to hear people's hearts, even when we don't agree with their words. Because just as strongly as you believe what you believe, there are people out there believing just as strongly in something else.
Hateful words, dismissive attitudes, and acts of violence will never unite us. Nor will blaming an entire group of people for the actions of extreme individuals. We need to stop listening to retaliate and begin listening to understand. Only then will we create a safe space to voice our differences.
It's possible to have different opinions from one another without tearing each other down. Stop making assumptions and start having conversations... preferably in person. And when they can't happen in person, don't let the tempting convenience of hateful words typed on a keyboard determine your character.
It's one thing to know this, but putting it into action? I just confessed to you how tempting it is for me to want to do the exact opposite. I don't always want to love the difficult people in my life. Why should I sacrifice for those who are rude to me or don't care one way or another about me? Why should I show them kindness when they are hurtful and cause pain?
I need only travel as far as the closest mirror for my answer. I am messy. I am stubborn. I am selfish. Sometimes I annoy people, sometimes I have a short temper, sometimes I say the wrong thing and hurt people I care about. Sometimes I'm jealous and and at my worst I know I can be just plain mean. I am often full of pride and full of sin, usually showing up as one in the same...
BUT Jesus loves that imperfect person staring back at me in the mirror and He offers me grace... daily.
And we can do that for one another. Because Jesus says we can. He calls us to love people. And not only that, but He calls us to love people just as He loves people. He gave us so many examples of what it looks like to not only love the people in our lives, but to love the difficult people in our lives.
He healed the high priest's servant who came to arrest him, knowing this would not sway the outcome. (Luke 22:47-51) He asked God to forgive those who'd just nailed Him to the cross. (Luke 23:32-34) And he was always seeking out those who society had cast aside as insignificant, as enemies, or as simply different.
In short, He repaid hate with love, kindness, and forgiveness. His love is not limited to those who love Him back, but extended to the the very people who hated and continue to hate that He walked the earth.
That's the kind of love He has for us and calls us to show to others.
Jesus is and will always be the perfect response to hate... to fear... to disunity. And if He can love me... surely I can do the same for others.
When my feelings are hurt, when I am judged for my beliefs or for my politics, when I am cut off in traffic, when I get the short end of the stick, when people's words make me angry or afraid, when I feel misunderstood or beaten down... I can respond with love. I can remember that in my weakness, He is strong (2 Corinthians 12:9). In the moments I am quick to anger, His response is always patience and grace. And it is through Him I can love others well.
Of course He's the perfect response... the perfect word... He's THE Word. It is because of Him we have hope, we know love, and there will be healing.
All of this brokenness, the anger, the frustrations, the tears, the divisiveness. It's all temporary. But if that remains our focus... we've lost sight of what's permanent. What's eternal.
And here's the thing. There are likely some of you reading this who don't believe in Jesus. Maybe He's not your word or your response. Maybe you've been burned by people who claim to love Jesus, but they've failed to show you who He truly is. Please hear me because I'm speaking to you too. No matter what you believe, it's a lot easier to love than to hate and our world will be better for it. People will be better for it. You will be better for it.
Whatever your religion is, whatever your race is, if you're gay, straight, democrat, republican, male, female, transgender, or in the middle of figuring out who you are, whether you love me, like me, or despise me...
I still see you. I still hear you. I still love you. And there will be times I mess up... respond too rashly, say the wrong thing... but you have my word I will own those moments, apologize, and always try to do better.
I promise to try and hear your heart, even when I disagree with your words.
I promise to not let the words of others nor the extreme actions of a few represent who you are.
And on those occasions we can't find common ground, I promise to be kind and gracious while you stand yours and I, mine.
Let us all make a greater effort to be the bigger person. Let us stop pointing to the wrong actions and ill-spoken words of others to justify our own. Let's do better to love each other well.
And know I am a safe place to voice your opinion... even if it's different than mine.
Love you all!
Xo,
Lauren
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another."
- John 13:34
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